Love, Always
by Lavinia Swire
Summary: What does sixty years of marriage condense down to? A shoebox full of letters and three rings. M&MWP. Winner of Most Moving Entry and Best Oneshot in the 2011 Mew and Mor's Weird Pairings Competition!


**I hereby disclaim. **

**This is for the 2011 Mew and Mor's Weird Pairings Challenge; Remus/Lily Luna - NOT Lily Evans - is a M&MWP (and I also mention Victoire/Neville, which is another one). **

**I should probably make it clear that this is AU - Tonks died in the final battle but Remus survived. Obviously Remus is considerably older than Lily, but remember, love conquers all!**

**Please do review! I would really love to know what you think. **

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><p><em>More than kisses, letters mingle souls – John Donne<em>

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><p>Dearest Lilyflower,<p>

Happy anniversary to us, happy anniversary to us, happy anniversary, dear Lily, happy anniversary to us!

I would have sung this to you in person but I'm currently making our breakfast, and you never seem to appreciate my singing at any time, much less in the morning (I cannot imagine why). As it is, I'm sending you the words, which you will hopefully be reading in a few minutes – assuming Fuzzy makes it up the stairs. Remind me never to ask Teddy for advice about names for owls ever again.

You're bound to be asleep when this arrives. You're never awake at this hour on a Sunday; you'll be squinting at the clock in that way that makes your nose wrinkle up, and probably wishing death threats on whoever sent this owl. Don't be so uncharitable, Lily dear, especially on our anniversary.

There's some Muggle tradition about wedding anniversaries and the appropriate gifts for each year. The first year is cotton – Merlin knows what I would have got you for that. Hankies? That's probably grounds for divorce. Luckily I only found out about the whole thing last month when Hermione was talking to your mum about anniversary presents.

All the good ones – silver, gold, diamond – aren't for ages yet, so I've got plenty of time to save up! Wine is something like the eighty-fifth, although I'm not sure if that's not just a euphemism for getting very drunk. We needn't wait until then, obviously – didn't Victoire and Neville have hangovers for two days after their first anniversary party? Yet another reason for Fleur to be delighted about their marriage.

Actually, I'd better not get you smashed, Lils; your parents have just about come round to our matrimony, but James and Albus always look like they're about to hex me if I stand within five feet of you. I think if we celebrate two years of marriage by getting completely plastered, neither of them will be responsible for their actions and I may not live to tell the tale.

Anyway, the second anniversary is paper, so here is my wondrously original gift. I know you like Muggle greetings cards – after that Weasley's Wizard Wheezes one we got for Christmas from George and Angelina, I'm not surprised that you've gone off the magical variety. We'd just tidied up the living room as well!

According to the Muggle tradition there's a flower for each year too. This time it's lily of the valley; very apt. A card, flowers and breakfast in bed – what more could you want for an anniversary gift?

I can just picture you raising your eyebrows suggestively at this point.

Well, a very happy anniversary to both of us, Lily. Here's to the last two years and the upcoming ones too, for as long as you want me sticking around.

See you in a minute (once I've finished making breakfast).

Love, always,

Your Remus

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><p><em>Dear Remus, <em>

_Happy tenth anniversary! Insert singing here – in fact, I don't need to; I can hear you singing 'Happy anniversary to us' even though I'm downstairs in the kitchen. Merlin, my ears. Thank you for the daffodils, and thanks even more for not buying the honking ones. _

_Wow, ten years of marriage. I can hardly believe I just wrote that. We've been together for even longer than that as well – remember when we first moved in together and we were living in that tiny little flat in London? It had three rooms, but the bedroom barely counted as a room (more like an airing cupboard). There were rats and spiders all over the place and the paint was all peeling off the walls. Oh, and the ceiling fell in. That's the last time I take James's advice on April Fool's Day jokes. _

_We didn't care at all, though. It was our place, so it didn't matter. _

_Now we've got a house with a bedroom that actually has room for a bed, a wardrobe _and_ a bookcase at the same time without having to stack them on top of each other. We're married, I have a job and we're both sensible, mature adults. Don't laugh, Remmie, that's cruel. _

_I've gone off on a tangent now – back to the important bit. I figure that after ten years I should join you in your Muggle-wedding-anniversary-gifts fandango. You always get so much stick from all the cousins about it, but you carry on with it, even two years ago when you got me a salt cellar for my lovely anniversary present. _

_You've always seemed very happy with Lily-style anniversary gifts (read: cake and sex) but I found your list of Muggle anniversary presents – well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!_

_I'll thank you _properly_ for the flowers when I get upstairs (I know you're blushing, Remmie) but until then, here's your anniversary present. It's the tenth year, as you know, so it's tin, according to your list. Seems a bit of a stupid one, but there you go. _

_Happy anniversary, husband dear, and may there be many more. _

_Love, always, _

_Your Lily_

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><p>Lily,<p>

A can of baked beans does not constitute an anniversary present. Yes, it may be the year of the tin, but that does not make me delighted to receive a –

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><p>Dear Lily,<p>

The follow-up to your gift more than made up for the baked beans. Although I doubt I will be able to think about tinned food in the same way ever again.

I love you.

Lots of love,

Your Remus

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><p><em>Dear Remus, <em>

_Happy anniversary! It's been thirty-four years and you haven't forgotten yet! _

_When was it you got me into the whole letter-writing-and-Muggle-anniversary-gifts thing? We've somehow ended up with this whole routine for our anniversary. Do you reckon most couples end up with little rituals? With us, whoever wakes up first (that's you, love) goes to make breakfast, and then sends the owl upstairs with the gift for that year. You always leave flowers by my bed before you go downstairs. There haven't been Muggle-style presents for the last few years, though – after the first twenty years, there aren't that many set gifts._

_Our tradition's winding down a bit now. Not that we haven't been celebrating, but it isn't quite the same. The routine for this year's doubly messed up because the full moon had to go and fall last night, and you always sleep in for ages the morning after._

_I know that the transformation hurts, Remus, even with the Wolfsbane potion and no matter how many Silencing Charms you put on the basement door. I wish the potion took away the pain. I hate knowing that you have to go through all that agony each month for no reason._

_We have our other routine for full moon nights. Admittedly it sounds quite weird – 'Oh yes, when it's the full moon my husband transforms into a seven-foot werewolf and sleeps on our bedroom floor' – but I don't like being on my own, and I really don't like thinking about you locked in the basement. You aren't dangerous, Remmie; the potion deals with that and you never forget to take it. _

_So you transform in the cellar (you insist on that, at least), then I let you out and you pad back upstairs after me; I stick the duvet and pillows on the floor, because the bed is simply not big enough, and we just curl up and go to sleep. I really don't see what the big deal is, although Mum wouldn't agree; she'd go ballistic if she found out. You can talk about the Wolfsbane potion until you're blue in the face, but she wasn't happy with us being together in the first place. If she found out that you still sleep in our bedroom when you're transformed, she'd explode. And that's nothing compared to what Grandma Weasley would do. _

_You were still asleep when I woke up this morning - you'd changed back, and you had your arms wrapped right around me. _

_Love, always, _

_Your Lily_

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><p>Dear Lily,<p>

I found all the old anniversary letters I've sent you under the bed. Merlin, I had no idea how many there were. Fifty years of marriage and memories stuffed into that old shoebox (which, for your information, nearly bit my hand off when I opened it. I know you put privacy charms on everything, but I think that you could loosen that particular one to allow _your own husband_ to read letters to _his wife_ that he wrote _himself_).

You've got our wedding photos in there too. Not the official ones – they're all on the mantelpiece – but the other ones from the party. I think I like these ones best. You're dancing and laughing away in every single photo, and you look absolutely beautiful.

I've been thinking recently about our wedding day. This time fifty years ago I was asking Teddy (for the two hundredth time) if he'd lost the rings and you were shrieking for the entire house to hear that you looked fat in your wedding dress and we'd have to call off the whole thing; I think you've heard my feelings on the matter enough times, so I will just state that you looked absolutely incredible and leave it there.

It could have been awkward having Teddy as the best man, seeing as he's ten years older than you and you were becoming his step-mother. I was planning to just avoid the topic until you convinced me that he'd be more pissed off if I didn't ask him than if I did. Right as always, Lily.

Then we had – who was it? - Lucy and Roxanne as the bridesmaids. I think so, anyway. You can still recite the entire guest list, the seating plan and itinerary; I, on the other hand, was just concentrating on _us_ and how beautiful you were and how lucky I was. How lucky I am.

I hope you like the earrings I got you; I had to get Victoire to help me choose. All I knew was that they had to be gold. Do you know how many different earring designs there are in the world? Millions, I expect.

I love you, Lils. I should hope you know by now seeing as I tell you that pretty much every day, but I'm never going to stop telling you and making sure you realise. I love you more than anything. I would do anything for you and I never want to lose you.

Happy anniversary, Lily.

Love, always,

Your Remus

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><p><em>Dear Remus, <em>

_Dad's given me the ring you were supposed to give to me. I've never seen him cry before. _

_It's a lovely ring; not too flashy. It's just a simple gold band with a little diamond for our diamond year. _

_It's not fair, Remus, it's not fair. It hurts like hell. _

_I woke up really early in the morning last week and I forgot, just for a second. I reached out for you and you weren't there. That's what I'm going to miss the most, even more than all your jokes and our stupid arguments that were just excuses to let off steam. More than your Muggle music obsession and all the little traditions and rituals that meant so much to you. I'm going to miss you being there at night, so if I woke up I could just hold you and bury my face in your shoulder. You'd huff a bit if I woke you up but you didn't really mind. _

_Now I'll never be able to do that again. _

_I can't go on pretending, Remmie. You can't stay at home now. It's too much. I'm sorry. The Healers were supposed to be coming tomorrow, but I put them off for a few days. Tomorrow's special. It's our anniversary, not that you know. _

_You can't remember _anything_ anymore. It was all right before, when you were just a bit forgetful. We could laugh about it when you got incantations slightly wrong, so you ended up covered in feathers instead of making toast. But now you can't read or write. I have to feed you. I had to lock your wand in a cupboard after that time you nearly blew up the house. I've been sleeping in the spare room because it scares you when you wake up and there's a stranger there. _

_The stranger's me; your wife of sixty years. _

_They say it's because of your lycanthropy. Of course it is. What else would it be? It's so ironic that you've been drawing on the wolf's strength, but at the same time it's been feeding on your mind, your memory, so it can stay alive. It was inevitable that this would happen, apparently, not that anyone realised before. Not that it makes any difference. It's happened, and there's nothing I can do. I feel so helpless, Remus. I can't even hold you the way I used to because you don't recognise me and it frightens you. _

_I'm going to read this out to you tomorrow because you can't read it yourself, and I'll probably be crying by the time I get to this point. I'll be looking desperately into your eyes for some tiny flicker, some sign that you recognise me. I won't get it. I never do. All those years, those laughs, those pointless in-jokes, those little moments that make up nearly sixty years of marriage, have been wiped out. _

_I don't want to stop writing. There's so much left unsaid. I want to write about all our birthdays and Christmases, and Teddy's wedding to Dominique, and our wedding night, and the time I made you a birthday cake and set fire to the kitchen. I want to tell you again about all our anniversaries, our first and second and third, right up to the fifty-ninth. You never once forgot, and you always followed that list: sugar, salt, copper, silk. Lilac, bird of paradise, peony._

_I love you, Remmie, of course I do. I'll never stop loving you. _

_You can't sing anymore, so I'll sing for you. Happy anniversary to us, happy anniversary to us, happy anniversary, dear Remus, happy anniversary to us._

_Love always, _

_Your Lily_


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